Scary Tequila Choices in the Bible Belt

We aren’t in Mexico right now. We’re not in California or New York either. We’re in Macon, Mississippi – and we have come to the realization that we are spoiled tequila brats. We are here to attend a family function (Scarlet’s family lives here) and today during our errands we went looking for ingredients to make a Pure Margarita.

This is an easy task in Mexico or California, but a little more effort (and money) is required if you want to pull it off in Macon, Mississippi.

Two Fingers, Aristocrat, and Pepe Lopez tequila

Two Fingers, Aristocrat, and Pepe Lopez tequilas are part of the (scary) selection at the Package Store in Macon, Mississippi.

The first, and most important ingredient, tequila, required a 30 minute drive to the “package store” – one of maybe two places you can get liquor here since until recently it was a dry county. Once we arrived, we realized that choice was not only limited, but scary. We never heard of “Two Fingers” tequila. “Aristocrat Silver” and “Pepe Lopez” didn’t ring any bells either, and considering they are all in the $14 price range, and none of them have “100% de Agave” listed on the label, we avoided them.

We spent a little more ($26) and opted for a bottle of 1800 Reposado, a 100% agave tequila made by Jose Cuervo.

Next ingredient – limes. We picked them up at Super Wal-Mart, in Louisville, Mississippi – which is a 30 minute drive from the “package store.” Limes were selling for 48 cents each. (Limes can be found on sale – 18/$1. – in San Francisco. Sure, the rent is higher, but the limes are crazy cheap.)

Super Wal-Mart also sells agave nectar. But not near the honey or sweeteners. We found it hiding over with the baking items.

So tonight, we plan to introduce the Pure Margarita to the nice folks of Macon. Maybe it will start a tequila revolution, and the “package store” will upgrade their selection of 100% de Agave tequilas in time for our next visit.


5 Responses to “Scary Tequila Choices in the Bible Belt”

  1. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


  2. Trust me, here in Nashville things are a much better, and we are considered the “buckle” of the Bible Belt.


  3. Fuck the bible belt!!!!!!!!!!!!


  4. Aristocrat is brutal stuff? Not sure what it’s made out of but it’s the opposite of good, smooth, 100% Agave tequila? Rubbing alcohol anyone?


  5. I remember seeing Two Fingers advertised in magazines throughout the 80’s – Heavy Metal, National Lampoon, Rolling Stone etc. Then the brand seemingly disappeared.


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